Oga Ben Bruce AKA Ben 10- if you want Buhari's handshake, come and take it oh!

Senator Ben Bruce and other Senators at the presidential villa dinner
Senator Ben Bruce at the Presidential villa dinner
This is a fictional conversation between this writer and Senator Ben Murray Bruce. Read & enjoy. Writer as "W", Uncle Ben as "B".

W: Uncle Ben 10, you haff come again this morning oh, you are trending left and right on Twitter.

B:  Don't mind those Twitter trolls, I spoke my mind. How can the Common Sense Senator be blocked from greeting the President?

W: Tsk-Tsk, there's no common sense in that act truly. But my dear Twitter Senator, your colleagues are saying you are a liar oh, that they were there and the DSS officials who blocked you were following protocols. Their statements below if you look closely sir.
Senator Sola Adeyeye reaction to Ben Bruce
Senator Shehu Sani reaction to Ben Bruce
B: Kid, I know what I saw. I was blocked. Why? Is it because I am in the opposition or because of my staunch criticism of these government?

W: Uncle, this is where I usually disagree with you. You're a part of these government. You're been pain handsomely to assist these government in achieving their mandates. So if Buhari fails, this your Senate would also go down in history as a total failure.

B: Well, the President presides over everybody, and he shouldn't bear any grudge even if he doesn't like my ways. I am a Senator and didn't deserve that bouncing at the Villa.

W: Can I be frank with you Uncle Ben?

B: Yes kid, just make sure you speak with common sense.

W: Oh well sir. Errrm sir, why do you block people on Twitter? If it was really true that you were blocked from greeting the President at the villa, then we are happy with it. You have blocked hundreds of people on Twitter for being strongly opposed to your tweets.

B: All those people I blocked lack common sense please, if they can't air their opinion objectively and respectfully, then I don't want to see their tweets.

W: Oh, lemme remind you. You tweeted on one day like that, "This is the first time you would experience a total blackout in Nigeria," and well informed people went on Google to point out facts to you that you were wrong and I replied to that your tweet by saying you were obviously on hibernation all these years and only up now because you in the Senate and PMB is the President. Before a twinkle of an eye, Twitter notified me that I am not allowed to see the Author of the common sense revolution profile.

B: I can't remember and I am not sorry.

W: I know you are not because you always enjoy been petty and we the ordinary jobless tweeps on Twitter enjoy petty games as well. Those DSS officials that blocked you deserved a medal of honor. What they failed to do is bungle you out of the villa.

B: Why would they want to do that?

W: Because you're an hypocrite. Your criticism is always fully laced with hypocrisy. Your level of hypocrisy is second to none. You whine on everything, showing and telling what the President is doing wrongly but you'd never suggest a better way to get things done. You'd tweet and make fun on Twitter all day but you'd be silent in the Senate.

B: This is why I block people like you. I do my job. I have a lot of things going down in my constituency and I have a bill I personally brought up in the Senate. You people are ill-informed.

W: Uncle Ben, there's a massive military invasion of the creeks in your region following the recent bombings of oil installations by Niger Delta Avengers. The militants even have a twitter handle informing everyone on their attacks. You being a highly Twitter Senator, common sense should have called for you to send out messages to the militants. Why are you not asking those boys to desist from those dastardly attacks as it is further damaging the Niger Delta environment even though its main aim is to cripple Nigeria's funds?

B: They are armed militants and I am just a Senator. The security forces should handle them.

W: Uncle you lost the fight today. You played yourself. You own TV and Radio stations, also own other entertainment investments so we can not say you were looking for attention, but on this senseless tantrum, you lost.

B: You don't know what you are talking about. What protocol was there that would deny a sitting Senator from greeting his country's  President just when every other Senators were going over to also greet him? I won't take this.

W: Well Uncle, where have you been before 2015? I mean where was your common sense role during the PDP 16 years of decadence? I know you worked in NTA, then started your own media house, built a galleria and cinema, and hosts two big shows annually; one rewarding top players in Nigeria business and public service with awards, the other exploiting young ladies by having them appear half naked in the name of becoming the MBGN.

B: I have been growing kid. I have over 1000 staffs that I pay above the minimum wage, so you don't have anything on me.

W: Uncle Ben 10, you are gradually becoming a liar to us. And there you are blocking many of us that tell you the truth as it is, we air our opinions just like you do to the Presidency all the time. You are now the C.E.O of the block industry on Twitter. Uncle take this latest fallout with a pinch of salt and stop these kind of statements that divides the people and break the internet.

Buhari greeting all the Senators at the Presidential dinner
Buhari greeting Senators
B: You are a joke. I will continue to air my views on the social media.

W: Huh, Okay sir. Many of us even think Mr Reno Omokri is the one managing your Twitter account. Is that true sir?

B: I don't know what you are talking about.

W: I know you won't know, but sir, let me inform you that the President has to deal with a lot of things like militancy, terrorism, bad economic woes among others, so having to deal with a childish Senator statement is going to be a total waste of time. Just go to the Senate and do your job.

B: Is that all you have to say?

W: Han Han sir, are you now vexed? You shaa kuku can't block me here in real life. Uncle Ben, unblock me on twitter now, I need to see more of your common sense tweets.

B: Okay.

W: Sir, one last question. On your website, there is a column on there saying we should submit an email to receive your Common sense revolution book's soft copy. We are yet to receive a thing after many months of email submission sir oh.

B: We got a lot of emails, so we doing it batch by batch. It will get to you soon. Keep waiting.

W: Ok sir, you keep wailing as well and if it is Buhari handshake you want, come and take it oh. See you later sir and thanks for the convo.

To be continued... 


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