Short Story: Secondary School Girlfriends and My Soulmate

South Africa Secondary school students at a UN function
Part 1: Secondary School Girlfriends

I was a tall, lanky boy in secondary. I was shy and had a low self-esteem, so mingling with the opposite sex was an almost impossible thing to me at that time. Having a girlfriend in secondary school was a big deal to many boys. From the second session as a junior, many of my friends and classmates already had girl lovers which they never waste time in talking about late into the nights after lights out in the hostel.


"Would I ever find a girl that would love me? Would I ever get the same recognition and respect as other boys with girlfriends?" These are questions I ask myself every second. There was a particular mate who had a stunning girl, but still flirted with other girls and they liked him. He was very popular. I found myself getting closer to this mate. I made a resolution to me that I'd do whatever this my new friend do to have girls flocking around him- he wasn't even academically brilliant. So I deduced girls don't care about been brilliant, they enjoy bad boys.

My friend cared about his looks so much. He strived hard always to stay clean; clean clothes, fresh haircut, kept a circle of boys like him, always got into trouble with the hostel masters, rarely visited the dining hall for school prepared food. He had friends among the school prefects and seniors so no public maltreatment which was rife at the time. All these came at a huge cost to me as I was one of the dirtiest and most playful boys. I was not rich, so dining was a must for me. My circles before I followed my new friend was filled with corridor sliders, footballers, and foodies but some of us were academically sound. What is worse than been a dullard and a dirty junior? Even the nastiest girls in school wouldn't want to be seen around you.

I started to clean up, carried a comb in my pocket at all times, made sure my clothes was always clean and ironed. White socks during school hours, colored socks after school hours, and I changed my circle. In a short time, my credibility rose. Others boys envied me and even said to my face how I was cleaning up so that I could move with the favorite boys- but I didn't let that deter me. I was determined.

I started to make true friendship with girls that moves with my new circle. That meant my friends' girlfriends' friends paid me more attention and rumours of me in a love relationship with different girls circulated. I enjoyed the rumours and how I had to debunk them all. All of the rumors were untrue because I liked all the girls linked with me, but I never had the confidence of professing love to any one of them.

Many months went by; my friends were breaking up and making new relationships with girls but nothing for me than just been relevant. Then senior era came and things upgraded a bit. I became the class representative of a class with more than 50% academically below average. I became a local champion. Been top of the class and the class rep gave me more swagger to wiggle around classes and staff rooms. I found myself relating with a lot of girls on a daily basis. This is just what I need but my confidence still failed me, and I dreaded rejection.

There were moments many boys would not want to be seen in classes whenever girls reject their love advances. I had managed to improve my self-esteem, so I wasn't ready for an 'NO'. I once jokingly told a girl how I liked her and wouldn't mind if she would be my girlfriend. She smiled without saying a word. Before the end of the next day, the whole school was singing my name and the girl's name. The issue then was that she was popular for overly mingling with boys, and I wasn't ready for the new popularity of been on her extensive list. I outrightly denied and even had to confront her face to face. There were few more cases like that, and I remember the girl who told the whole girl's hostel how I said I wanted her, and she agreed. I made sure I wasn't even seen with the girl after debunking her story.

Part 2: My Secondary School Soulmate

After another school session, I finally found my soulmate. I liked her, and she liked me. It happened naturally, and we just became best of friends. After been seen together alone on many occasions, the whole school talked about us, and it was magical. Rumours on our love were all over the air, only that this time I enjoyed and cherished it even though we were not actually in a love relationship based on the fact that I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend.

Girls were quick to remind me of my girl every time I try to flirt with other girls. It got so serious I was getting exhausted. I still couldn't ask her to be my girlfriend, and I didn't enjoy the rumors anymore. Little arguments between the girl and myself became a big fight at every opportunity I get to make it so. She got hurt, and I didn't know how I felt, but I was free again. She worked hard to bring us back together, but I refused.

I saw my soulmate, and we wouldn't greet. We didn't help each other copy notes again. There were no more surprise love signatures in our books. No more late night text messages I proudly share with my friends and no more visiting during the holidays. I couldn't tell my mom I didn't see my soulmate again. My friends would tell me how I was a fool for letting her go. I heard rumors of her with other boys. I eventually got hurt and pained. I had regrets written all over my face whenever we come across each other. She got more beautiful, and I didn't know if it was my eyes or she did it on purpose to taunt me.
I made couple more close relationships with other girls, but it wasn't the same because it was shorter. It didn't have the same spectacular moments and the butterflies in my tummy wouldn't fly. I cried myself to sleep every day I couldn't bring myself to apologize. I cried every holiday I didn't get to see my soulmate. Memories of my soulmate giving me the biggest birthday surprise of my life haunted me. I didn't think I'd love another like my secondary school mate.

Final exams came and we never got back together. Few years after school, I still followed my soulmate on Yahoo messenger and Facebook. A couple months later my soulmate got pregnant. The next time my mom asked after my soulmate- I told her she had a baby. I hurt every time I had to tell my soulmate I did love her back then but she cared less. I finally met my soulmate again at our school's old student reunion. I hated how other guys looked at her. I wanted her to be mine. But she had a child and a baby-daddy now. She belonged somewhere else. I still love her but it is all gone. I wanted to send her and her baby gifts. I wanted to pay back for the birthday surprise she gave me. But she is no more on my level. I never had a girlfriend in school but she was my soulmate and I would pay anything to have those moments back. I wished I could draw back the hands of time and right my wrongs. I sipped a bottle of sniper insecticide and believed my soulmate would join me in hell if I can't be with her on earth. I woke up in the hospital and the nurse treating me was my soulmate.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I hope you don see another soulmate now
Akintobi Jimoh said…
Yes oh, almost Lol. Thanks for the reading.

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