Self Improvement: How to Be a Virtuous Woman

How to be a woman of virtue. virtuous woman

Do you want to be a virtuous woman? The characteristics of a virtuous woman have been explored in religious texts (both the Qur'an and Bible) and philosophers have also worked on it throughout the ages. There are few common principles that most great free thinkers agree on, even though others vary on the exact details. If you'd like to be a virtuous woman, below are five principles you should review to get started.

1. Beauty

You must have heard this saying, "true beauty lies within." True beauty is virtuous because it develops out of good character. If you want to look virtuous, you need to look inwards so that you absolutely become virtuous.

If you live the life of a virtuous woman, you will also be a beautiful woman because inner beauty and virtue go hand-in-hand. Your outward beauty should reflect your inward beauty. You can look beautiful on the outside even when maintaining inner beauty. Beautiful things shine, and their radiance can be felt externally. For a complete beauty, inward beauty must harmonize with outward beauty. That is if you are beauty on the inside, you should take care of your body and treat it with plenty respect so that others can see your beauty, as well.

You do not have to be supermodel-cute, but be confident to look your best. Do you get a self-satisfaction when you look in the mirror and like what you see? Liking yourself enough to buck for this sensation is a healthy and virtuous amount of outward beauty. Dress modestly so as not to tempt others with your outward beauty. You don't have to look unstylish, but understand that a revealing outfit might temporarily attract men. However, men of good character are attracted to women of virtue.

Another mark of virtue is being kind and respectful enough not to  a source of temptation to the men around you. Though men are responsible for their own actions and thoughts, but as visual beings, they are influenced by what they see. Take good care of your body and stay healthy by eating solely healthy foods and staying in shape. Avoid exposing your body to harmful substances like drugs or abusive quantities of alcohol. Respect is a virtue, so show self-respect to your body. 

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2. Other Outward Virtue

Be kind and act in service to others. This means thinking highly of the needs of others, taking care of those whenever you can, while also taking care of your own needs. An example of service is volunteering your time and energy in formal and informal situations to help others. For example, a virtuous woman can join an NGO pushing for Sickle Cell Disease orientation, and will also be there to a friend who needs a shoulder to lean on, even if it means missing out on something else.

Being truly kind means you need to approach people with a giving spirit. You should be that person whom others can consult for positive words and actions. However, it is not enough to just exchange pleasantries and a few nice words in passing. Be hospitable and generous. Make sure to always complete tasks assigned to you and do away with procrastination. Take care of your responsibilities and be self-disciplined. Do the right things even when others can't see or aren't looking.

Spend your money and earth resources wisely. You should not be irresponsible with money or spend wastefully. Be frugal, but don't be stingy or cheap. Take care of your financial obligations before throwing your money on indulgences. In other words, you should be shopping for new cloths lavishly when you owe rent or other bills.

Be a good time manager. Spend your time wisely and don't be lazy. Take time to relax and recharge fully, since you can only be productive when sufficiently well rested. Do not be frivolous with your time. Do things at the right time, and channel your efforts in ways that will most profit you and those around you.

3. Inward Virtue

Do you have faith? Faith traditionally mean to believe in God or some religious reasoning. If you don't believe in God, you can still apply the principle of faith by faithfully pursuing virtue. Commit yourself to your faith in God, or in the goodness of virtue, remain faithful in the face of challenges that occur.

Respect your body by keeping it pure. Your body is a treasure and do not give it up to just anyone. The principle of purity states that one should wait until marriage before having sex. Nearly every major religion is in support of this principle. Even if you don't have any religion, you should still apply this principle. Sex should be a special activity that should only be cherished and entertained between two people in love. Determine what is beneficial and harmful by weighing outside influence carefully, be open to critique and advice, and act appropriately.

Women are emotional by nature, and the downside of this is that it can often blind reason. So, you need to cultivate reason. A virtuous woman will accept her emotions but use reason to effect her reactions. Govern yourself by wisdom, not by folly. That is listening to your heart for guidance, but judging a situation with your mind, applying the wisdom you have acquired throughout your life in assessing things accurately.

4. Virtue in the Home

This saying, "Respect your parents so that you can live longer on earth" is a popular one. Respect your parent because they brought you into this world and raised you to become the woman you are now. A virtuous woman needs to show respect by adhering to their rules during her youth and continue to listen and respect their advice as an adult.

If you have domineering parents that maltreat you, and the best solution for you is to get away from the abusive situation, doing so is the most virtuous way you can follow.
If you're married, you have to love and listen to your husband. Your husband is supposed to respect you back as well because marriage is a partnership.

You don't need to obey all your husband's command, as you can disagree, but should discuss points and consider his perspective, then mutually reach an agreement. If your husband is a good man of character, he will definitely not do anything to harm you. You need to be faithful to your husband, and fidelity is one way to do that. You must never cheat.

If you have children, be a loving mother at all times. Your children's needs must be above your own. Help your children by raising and developing them into virtuous men and women themselves. Discipline should be your watchword in dealing with your children, and it has to be with care and wisdom so that they can recognize the difference between right and wrong.

5. Developing Virtue

Too much of everything (good things) can be bad. Align yourself to the mean, not the extremes. Virtue can always be found in the middle ground between two extremes of characteristics.

An example is in self-love. Too much of this will result in narcissism, and deficiency will lead to low self-esteem. It is good to love and respect yourself and to show love and respect to others, but you need to love yourself moderately so that you don't get carried away. If you really want to be a woman of virtue, you need to stay committed to a virtuous life. True virtue is a lifestyle, not an act to put on for a few days or short time. You won't become a virtuous woman overnight, but continue to practice virtuous behaviors until it becomes a habit.

Don't let past mistakes or the mistakes you make along the way discourage you. If you practice principles of virtue for a long time, they will surely become habits and characteristics of your overall person. Remember attitude is a virtue and you have to continue to strive for a virtuous life.


A virtuous woman is one with good character, industrious and very chaste.

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